quirks, questions, and things best remembered......

1. Two bads never ever equal a better.

2. Muffins or Cupcakes I will always eat the top last. D thought it would be funny one time to teach me a lesson regarding this little nuance of my behavior, so at a party he sees my cupcake top sitting on my plate and he walks by and quick stuffs it in his mouth. He said it was to teach me a lesson, but I think we all know who learned a lesson that night.

3. While it is always to have good oral hygiene habits for both man and beast alike I would like to strongly caution you against keeping the beasts tooth paste next to your own toothpaste. Trust me when I say the beast will get much more enjoyment from your toothpaste gracing his brushes bristles than you will trying to do a massive mouthwash flush of poultry flavored peppermint paste. Learn from my mistake......

4. I always feel sorry for people who I either happen to be talking to or emailing at the moment my medication kicks in. It can't be fun, but you all are such good sports about it.

5. No one finds me as funny as I do.

6. Why do people buy expensive yarn only to knit something ugly? Do they know what they've done? Hasn't anyone ever told them that the beauty of knitting is that you can rip it out and start over with something pretty? Unless of course you chose to knit said garment with mohair or angora, then it becomes a mistake you have to live with, but I would definitely lie about who made it. Best thing to do in this situation is to sneak it down to the charity donation bin in the middle of the night (makes it harder for security cameras to identify you) and put it in the bin. Then in a couple years when you see someone wearing it you can smile knowing that you turned something ugly into a good deed.

7. If someone hurts your feelings, you'll feel a lot better telling them they did rather than trying to figure out why they did. Chances are they didn't even realize they did it.

8. I've discovered that I drink as much water, whether it be from the tap, a plastic bottle, or a can as I do from those over priced fancy marketing gimmick water bottles, yet I still continue to buy them, maybe it's the old theory that new gym shoes make you run faster so a new water bottle should make you drink more water.

9. sometimes I wonder if my office is cold enough to warrant keeping my container of yogurt sitting on it all day. I still eat it but I'm just curious.

10. Have you ever thought to yourself 'wow, this is really easy, I must be doing it wrong.'? In this line of thinking I tend to lean more to the negative end of things rather than the positive, especially when I am questioning my ability to actually pull something off. One of these days though I'll try and think to myself 'wow, you must be a freaking genius, this is so easy and you totally rock at it!' The thing to keep in mind though is that even when I talk/think to myself I do use a sarcastic tone.

11. I think that when you weigh in at a weight loss meeting that the person doing the recording of the weight should be restricted to what questions they ask you. One time I was weighing in at a meeting and instead of losing or staying the same I went up slightly, the seemingly nice goal meeting weight recording staffer looked up at me with a bit of a frown, shake of the head and I swear I heard a tsk and said 'were you expecting that?'. In truth I smile ashamedly and say no but I had a really hard week and I'm going to refocus this week. Really hard week my a$$ what's hard about going out for pizza with your girlfriends and drinking beer in a place that when you ask them if they carry that super low calorie weightloss beer they laugh at you and bring you a glass of water. Of course I was expecting that, I had a great time so obviously I'm going to pay for it. Hence my online weightloss where the only one asking questions is me and the only disapproving look I get is a smiley/frowny face depending on the weeks numbers.

12. Flashing lights on answering machines drive me batty

13. Ill behaved children send me screaming for the hills, ill behaved dogs make me laugh for hours.

14. Whenever I have to meet knew people I get so nervous that I swing to two totally different extremes. EXTREME #1: I get so excited to meet you I practically vomit my life story all over you trying to find something in common with the hope that we'll instantly become BFF's and want to do stuff together all the time, it'll be so bad that You are currently trying to figure out how to escape and file a restraining order at the same time, not only against me but your friend who thought it would be a good idea to introduce us. EXTREME #2: I am so afraid of extreme #1 happening that I turn into ubber bitch and become so aloof and distant that you question your friend on why they like me when clearly I think I'm better than everyone. In retrospect it is a pretty good screening tool for new friends, if you can get past the first few awkward emails, text messages, and know it all attitude you get me, the best part, kind of like the creme filling in the Cadbury Eggs.

15. This is my last little random thought question for the night. There is a sticker on D's race car that says Car Owner....Carmel. Clearly this is only here as a way to include me because I have none of the power that other race car owners have. If I did that car would be hot pink with pink, green, and black farmville sheep all over it with little dooboppers over them letting ya'll know it's time to shear some wool, and that's what I'd do out on that track, I'd shear some wool.

maybe it's something in the beer......

But lately, all I've wanted to knit are shawls. You name it I probably have looked at the pattern. Yesterday I stumbled across the newest, newest as of yesterday morning, shawl pattern called 'it's good to be a girl' Damn right it is. Well that being said I quick ordered it and whammo just like magic, aka the internet, I had that pattern in my hot little hand and it only set me back a couple of bucks. That can't be said for the yarn but when you're a girl you have to keep things in perspective, especially if you are the sandwich board for your shawl. Now I have a word of warning about wearing your hand knit shawls, If you have a problem with people petting you it's probably best not to wander down this lane of iniquity that is shawl knitting. If you like to be fondled and groped by friends and strangers a like, go nuts, you can even wear it so the point is in the front, might be a bit suggestive but everyone likes a little tickle now and then. What is it with shawl knitting? I don't know, I used to think shawls were for old ladies something from the days of old. WRONG in a big way. Just because a shawl is a triangle doesn't mean you have to wear it draped over your shoulders. Scrunch that bad boy around your neck, pull that point to the front and give a passerby a thrill, have fun with it, it's an accessory that looks complicated, flows beautifully, and beckons people to talk to you, point at you, and touch you. (if you bought the cashmere it's your own damn fault that you get groped by women, they don't mean anything by it, maybe, but really if you cover your rack in cashmere you're going to get attacked, probably by me) there is something soothing to me about knitting a shawl, now lets take a moment to look at the pictures of the shawls I've knit and posted, non are extremely complicated in nature, there were no charts involved, maybe a swear word or two but what well knit garment hasn't been assaulted by a curse now and then, its the nature of the beast. I refer to my shawls knitting as relaxing knitting. It calms me down, makes me sleepy, and when I'm sitting in my office with a cool breeze blowing in from the cold air return vent, that shawl keeps me damn warm, and everyone wants to touch me. Thank goodness I don't knit bobbles...of course my boobs are bobbles enough.........
this is the beginning of 'it's good to be a girl' by Chrissy Prange, knit in Mushishi. 491 yards per skein by Plymouth Yarn Company. It's worsted which is not what the pattern calls for but, I rarely do what the pattern calls, which explains the basket of has beens and should have been better garments had I just paid more attention to what the heck I was doing, sitting in my living room.

Citron, Winter 2009/2010 Knitty.com by Hilary Callis, aka the yarniad. She is extremely talented designer, and I love love love all her patterns.

Another Citron.....

Multnomah by Kate Flagg, knit in RYC Natural Silk Aran, bought at Jessica Knits on my recent trip to Scottsdale,

Ahh, and this beauty, La La's simple Shawl, I love it, and I am currently still working on it. This yarn by Knit One Crochet Too, was also purchased on my last trip to Scottsdale. This purchase took place at Knit Happens, my other favorite yarn shop in the desert!

Citron, this one was a gift to my sister-in-law for her birthday, knit on worsted weight cascade 220, it's lovely, it's huge, it's warm, and it's pink which is her favorite color, so a win on all fronts.

Ahh again, La La's Simple Shawl, knit in Plymouth Yarn Kudo. Obviously this was knit for me, but everyone knows who has it now...........mother

and my first Multnomah, knit in a yarn that I can't remember the name of but it's man made not lamb grown, I heart it anyway, it's full of mistakes because clearly, unlike the rest of you I didn't learn how to count properly in kindergarten, however it makes life interesting, not being able to count accurately.......I can come up with all sorts of way's it's affected my yarn purchases......can we say 16 skeins of light pink cascade 220 purchased on a massive whim, 3 of which are hopefully draped over E.'s shoulders right now.

*safety warning* Probably best not to throw Gabby's ball after I've had a second beer on an empty stomach, I have the grip of an infant and I just beaned myself with the sloppy, stinky mess that she loves more than me......

A toast to Wednesday in honor of Gabby getting locked out of the bedroom last night, her own fault I assure you but she took it out on Mr. Brown nonetheless.

May your gait be straight

Your throw be true

and when you come to bed this night

and unlocked door for you

See you on the flipside!

by definition........we all should knit

Life: is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have self-sustaining biological processess from those that do not, either because such functions have ceased to exist (death), or else they lack such functions therefore classifying them as inanimate.

Humans:Have a highly developed brain, capable of abstract reasoning, language, introspection, and problem solving. This mental capability, combined with an erect body carriage that frees the hands for manipulating objects, has allowed humans to make far greater use of tools than any other species.
Lesson for the day: Use the tools you have to knit what you don't have.
Mental capability, reasoning, problem solving and an erect carriage+yarn = The recipe for my Life
Breath life into your yarn, that's what you bought it for in the first place.

On a side note: I am currently working on many many wonderful projects but none so wonderful as Emmaline in the pink Sprout yarn I picked up at the yarn shop.

Yarn Failure part II, and something about Mr. E Bunny

It must be the time of year...

It started out pretty well. I had four balls wound and then it all went to hell...........for crying out loud, I didn't even get it on the swift and all hell broke loose, that's how fast it happened.

Then only upside is this. Instead of 360 yards like I had last year, it was only 109.......Thank Goodness. I must admit though that at one point I was tempted to leave it as an offering on Marcy's desk in the morning, but then I had a beer and settled down.

Phew.......

Now it can become this.....Emmaline from the latest issue of knitty.

On a side note, Easter went off without a hitch as far as I know, the Family in Arizona had a blast at the Easter Egg Hunt at the club. There is some chatter that my brother may have killed the Easter Bunny when he crossed the road but we're still waiting on confirmation that it was the actually E. Bunny and not some imposter trying to scare the children on the 18th green.

*disclaimer* While my brother did accidentally hit a rabbit with mom's car, it was not the Easter Bunny so if any of you burst into tears at the thought that baskets full of chocolate, yarn, and jelly beans would not appear next year, have no fear, the E. Bunny lives on delivering chocolaty goodness and yarn to all.

A Conversation.......

On our recent road trip D and I drove through a lot of country side and passed a lot of farms. Farms that had crops and farms that had livestock. The livestock had baby livestock and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the car and go frolick with said baby livestock.

So, withouth further ado, here is the conversation that D and I had regarding my urge to play with the lambs.





Me: Look!!! lambs!! Baby Lambs!! Lets go play with them


D: No


Me: Yes!! I want to, I need to, I must go frolic with the sheep and their babies!!!


D: No you don't


Me: Yes I do


D: No you don't. You think you do but you don't


Me: But I do.....


D: Sheep smell


Me: So do you..........