Dear Quintus & Gabby,

It's possible that it's time to review the rules of the house. I know we went over them when each of you moved in with us but it's possible that a few things may have slipped your minds. Please don't let your feelings be hurt or think that we love you less than we did the day we brought you home, in fact it's possible that we love you more.............
1. Gabby, it is not necessary to wake me up at 2:30 A.M. because you think it's your turn to sleep in the chair and Quintus won't budge, you have to wait till he gets down and then you can steal the spot but no, i will not make him get down to appease you and the more you whine the harder it is to get him to budge.
2. No matter what the weather is outside, if you haven't gone out to pee in 8 hours I will be mean and make you do it, this however does not give you leave to shoot back into the house like a dog on fire spraying water and mud everywhere.........I have a towel, I will dry you off and you will be fine.
3. The the decibel at which you cry for food does not in fact make me put it in your bowl faster, you can twirl all you want, the food gets put on the floor when the coffee is done brewing. Want your food faster? learn to make my morning coffee I'll hand feed you for the rest of your life.
4. My body lotion is not a treat that I spread on for you to lick off.......nobody likes that.
5. contrary to popular belief I do not require all of you in the bathroom with me at the same time wondering what I do when I sit down......it's nobody's business especially yours.
6. Just because we are sitting down doesn't mean we want to be licked, drooled on or have you drop a stinky toy in our lap, this includes sitting on the stairs to put our shoes on in the morning.
7. Paper towels are a cleaning utensil not a snack for you to eat, in fact that goes for all paper items and I'm waiting for an explanation on where my paper bag went that was holding my stickers...........The stickers are fine but the bag is gone.
8. We live in the house, there is no need to growl when we come upstairs at night.
9. Popcorn is daddy's snack and as funny as I think it is, he doesn't like it when you both sit in front of him drooling like Niagra falls watching him eat it......(yes I know he gave it to you a few times therefore encouraging the behavior but it has to stop or we'll never have popcorn again)
10. My alarm clock is for me to get up, not a feeding bell for both of you.
Please keep in mind that these rules are for all our benefit.
Love Always,
Mom

Comments

Anonymous said…
What a dog lover! Sounds like my house!!

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