an anniversary of sorts...

It's probably not one that many in my family remembers. I think I remember it most clearly because it was such a pivotal moment in my early teenage life. It was April 11, 1989. I was about to turn 15 years old.

To say I was the dream daughter is a stretch. If anyone tested her parents and probably scared the hell out of them, it was me. I made really bad decisions, the group I spent time with was bad news, and I was headed down a path that would have most likely not ended well for me. I had already been kicked out of two high schools and it was only my freshman year.

I remember the morning. I had an appointment at the orthodontist. They took my braces off. Mom dropped me off and I said I would just walk to school afterwards. She said no, she would pick me up. I wasn't happy about that either since my plan was really to cut school and hit the 7-Eleven that would sell underage kids cigarettes.

Mom picked me up and it wasn't until she pulled onto the freeway that she turned to me and said I was going away for a while. They were taking me to a school for kids that needed help. I asked her why she didn't tell me sooner, she said she thought I would bolt so she wanted to make sure I couldn't.

I wasn't angry. I remember definitely not being angry. I was sad. I was sad because I didn't know how I had gotten where I was and at 14 didn't have a clue how to fix it. Mom figured it out. She found the school.

It was one of the best things in my life and while the subsequent years weren't easy I learned some skills at that school on how to cope that have saved my arse more than once.

It's been 24 years since that day.
It feels like maybe 10.

It closed down about a year and a half after I enrolled, but I loved it so much, I would have tried to stay forever.

I probably never thanked my mom for making that choice.
I know now that it couldn't be easy.
It's probably time I thanked her for the choice she made.

So here it is.

thank you, for everything you've done to save me when I've barrelled down the wrong lane. it was never easy.

xoxo
Carmel

Comments

lincannon said…
i didn't comment because I had to think about my comment. You are an exceptional, brave soul. You put yourself out there for all of us to see. I love how you realize your Mother loves you, and you appreciate and acknowledge her love. That is something some children never realize. I feel exceptionally lucky to follow your blog and understand some of you. Love how you think.
Carmel said…
Thank you so much! I love to see your comments! We struggled for a long time, there was another event that broke us and brought us together... Someday I'll post it.
Today were closer than we've ever been and every minute I get to spend with my mom is cherished!

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