Skip to main content

knitting through the blues...



It happens right?
You bust your buns getting the shopping done.
Planning the meals you're going to serve. Meals because not everyone can get together at one time in one place for various reasons, divorce, time, family squabbles, etc. So you plan meals.
Add into the mix dogs who are sick and need to go to the vet multiple times. They are aging so you are constantly on alert to their comfort or weird behavior lest it be something serious.
You clean your house.
You check to make sure there are no dietary restrictions for any of the planned meals.
What do you forget?
You.
You forget to recharge You.
Others forget You too.
Not intentionally.
It's never intentional
It just happens
It becomes expected.

We need a little sign of appreciation in order to feel like we aren't doing it just because everyone assumes we will anyway.

By the end of the Christmas holiday season along with busting my butt with year end at the office I was drained and I myself couldn't recharge my batteries.
I've been going through a wicked period of unhappiness and general grumpiness.
I try to hide it. Really, I'm a fake it till you make it person, but even that is draining.
I wanted to be alone.
People were annoying me.
Everywhere.

I hate when I get like this because it goes against all my natural tendencies.
To give, to love everyone, to share what I have with others.

I just wanted to crawl inside a hole and just be for a while.
Just me, my knitting, my dogs. (Sorry D)

My poor husband.
No idea what I needed.
No idea why I was behaving like a hag.
No idea why I about lost my marbles when he asked what was for dinner the day after Christmas.
It's hard to express when you feel overwhelmed, unhappy, and generally angry. I don't like to show any signs of weakness or not being capable of taking on anything.
You can only hold it all in for so long though, and it's not good to hold it in.
It poured out on January 3rd.
Getting it out helps
Helps you to move forward in the right direction again.
Puts the ugly into the light. Ugly hates light. Makes it easier to dissect it and put it where it belongs.
It takes baby steps though.
little tiny baby steps.
One knit stitch at a time.

talking to mom helps too.
she's  good sounding board.

I'm better. Mostly because it pisses me off to be in a funk.

So I'm done being a  grumpy bitch and am ready to get back to me...

Comments

Mary said…
AND, we are going to go have fun next weekend in Allyn right at Lois' and we'll stop at the burger joint, treat ourselves to something yarny, go visit Myra, take pictures ME TIME!!
Unknown said…
I guess because I am much older than you I "get" what you are saying. You want to run away for 24-48 hours and just sit and vegetate. Nobody to ask you to do anything and nothing to worry about. I envy people who get to do that and there are those who do, and then there are those of us who have to keep on plugging on. The only thing that worked for me was what everybody now calls journaling.(sp) I wrote it all down and then let it go. Maybe that will help. Sometimes life is just way too overwhelming. At least you mother gets it. You are blessed with her.

Popular posts from this blog

SSYC... My First Official Yarn Crawl...

It's true... I've never actually participated in a yarn crawl or LYS tour. When I worked at So Much Yarn I had the pleasure of working the weekend of the LYS Tour but I've never done it. Well, the SSYC, South Sound Yarn Crawl covers 9 shops that aren't included for whatever reason in the Seattle LYS Tour that covers around 25 shops in the area. Maybe they're too far off the beaten path. It's not because they aren't in Seattle because there are shops way way way out of town that are included in the Seattle LYS tour. Whatever the reason, it's not important. What is important is that Mary and I both took Friday off and hit the road. I caught the 7:15 Ferry to Kingston, Arrived at Mary's about 8:00. Mary and I have the same china. Mine came from my Grandmother, her's came from her mom. Tried making friends with her fluffy dog Mae. Someday she'll come to love me, for now I'll respect her tenative personality and love her fro...

The 'To-Do' list...

and by 'to-do' list I mean 'to-knit' list. I'm really really trying to get on track with this list and stay deeply focused. It has helped that I have successfully removed all yarn from the living room and into Mr. Brown's Yarn shop on the second floor. Except for the fact that I went in there the other day with a shopping bag and loaded up. Currently in the sidelines to be finished 1. Ledge Trail Vest 2. Twiggy for me 3. 70 Yard Mitt for my other hand Finished those bad boys last night! this is what happens when you use the 10s burst hands free option on your iphone and you're holding said phone with your chinny chin chin. On the List: 1. Twiggy for a Christmas gift 2. Iris the Gourmet Monster but since it's for a boy I'm calling it Orvil. 3. Great White Shart Shark 4. Bosco - for me 5. Stillhouse Vest - for me 6. Woodsy - for me 7. Three Seahawk themed hats as gifts. 8. Gifts for friends... and on and on and on If you...

Happy Birthday Mom!

I know I know, I'm a couple days early but I wanted to make sure you saw it before you sailed off to the deep blue sea... Literally. I've been thinking for a few days on what I would write for you on your birthday. How to best express just how amazing you are and how amazing it is that I got you for my mom. You've given me so much in my life that I am grateful for, that to try and put it into words would take a lifetime. I love the time we spend together. I love the way we laugh together. We've come so far and our adventures aren't over yet. I love you mom. Happy Birthday